Many potentially GREAT people don’t realise their brilliance simply because they get stuck in the past. You can stay angry at someone who hurt you or you can get busy living an amazing life. You cannot do both.
Getting hurt is a reality of living and if you do not forgive a person that really hurt you; it will feel like you are carrying that person on your back through life. And I ask you, “How can you be creative? How can you maximize your productivity? How can you learn or teach effectively? How can you do iconic things if you are carrying the past on your back the whole time? You simply CAN’T.
You need to forgive. Here’s how.
1. Don’t judge the person that hurt you. Try to understand them. Remember the saying; “…don’t judge a person unless you have walked a mile in their shoes…” Maybe that person who is abrupt with you is feeling the pressure of meeting their monthly target.
Or the customer who was rude to you is struggling financially. Or the person who cut you off in traffic just received a call from their doctor telling them they have cancer.
Everyone behaves according to his or her own personal reality. If someone did something to you because they thought you were not being nice to them or they thought you were being dishonest, that person has created their own story, their own reality. You just happen to fall into their perception. They were stuck on their assumptions, they were stuck in their core beliefs, and they were stuck in their own pain. Why judge them. Choose to understand them instead.
2. Communicate to the people that hurt you. It takes a lot of courage to speak up and say, “When you did this, this is how I felt. You crossed a boundary that’s important to me.” Don’t judge them. Don’t attack them. Just communicate. It will get it out of your system and it will teach them how to better treat you. If they don’t get it, then maybe this person is not who you want in your life.
Remember that forgiveness isn’t only for the person who wronged you. It is a gift you give yourself.