Should we fast from sex and other pleasures? Before I get into the science of why we should, I want to make one observation about the lies we have been fed by most sexperts who peddle the idea that if you are not having sex with your partner 2-5 times per week then there must be something wrong with the relationship. Trashy magazines thrive on this message as much as personal trainers thrive on the message you need to work out in one-hour intervals. Both are simply NOT true. Both create a state of fear and guilt.
Starting in Sardinia, I have been travelling the Mediterranean for the past 4 weeks and have spent many days visiting the renowned ‘blue zones’ where there is the highest concentration of centenarians. What struck me about the people in these areas is the complete lack of focus on health and fitness, yet they live such a long and happy life. There isn’t a gym and green juice bar in sight.
We in the west are obsessed with the physical and the ‘secrets’ to long life and that golden elixir. Is it fish oil or turmeric? Is it meditation? Is it eating paleo or eating vegan? Yes, these things do help (slightly) but they pale into insignificance in comparison to other more important ‘rules’ for living.
My sense of curiosity led me to connect and ask many questions of the locals I met. And there were many – equally curious and friendly. They always had a ready smile and welcoming demeanour. You’d be surprised how many speak English!
The following is a list of the main reasons why I think people in these blue zones live such a long life. You will notice that these rules for living have less to do with the physical and much more with the symbiotic relationship the physical has with the intellectual, emotional and spiritual. For example, eating food is not just a physical experience for them. They pray before they eat and the largest meal of the day is a daily social affair. There is music, sometimes dancing.
They are Very Social
They socialise, almost every night with a wide and close network of family and friends. They are high touch, less tech and therefore affectionate. When they greet you with a juicy kiss on both cheeks and a hug, you really feel that they mean it. Conversations are sharp and engaging with little small talk. There is passion and sometimes debate. They play games – cards and board games.
They Eat Food with Flavour
People from the Blue Zone are passionate about eating food that is flavoursome and true to their heritage. They do not eat Chinese one night, followed by Indian and then Italian. They eat fruit and vegetables that is in season and from the local area. When I was there, it was peaches, apricots and cherries and nothing else. What surprised me though is how little they eat, with only one large meal per day. And yes they eat carbs, lots of it. Coffee and pastry in the morning. Bread, pizza and pasta is lathered in cold pressed olive oil, usually from a nearby olive grove. They are not obsessed with eating protein, which is usually fish in summer and meat in the colder months. Local wine and seasonal cheese almost every day.
They are Solar Powered and Move for Purpose
They spend a lot of time in the sun. Especially in the summer months when they are almost always outside. They move a lot for work but rarely exercise. Exercise is dancing or ‘playing’ sport; you know, having fun. Mind numbing time on a treadmill seems foreign to them. “Why do that?” Francesca asked, seeming puzzled at the lack of purpose. “You are going no-where!” she joked.
They Take Naps
They sleep long and well and have a nap after lunch, especially during summer when it is hot.
They Drink Spring Water and Breath Clean Air
The air is clean in the blue zones, really clean and it has a softness about it. Taking deep breaths seems easier on the lungs.
Local spring water is everywhere and naturally high in minerals. I visited a public ‘watering place’ where there were numerous taps flowing constantly. There were people lined up to fill up bottles for home. With plastic cup in my hand, one man laughed and warned me, in broken English, not to drink too much from one tap as he gestured to his stomach. I knew what he meant. It was naturally sparkling and would clean me out. He pointed to another tap and said it had minerals to lower blood pressure. All this water came flowing down from the top of the mountain above us.
They Have Faith
They are religious and go to church. They pray. They believe in a creator and have faith that God ‘has their back’. They are constantly aware of their mortality but not afraid of it. One man, Alessandro, told me that being aware of his mortality makes him live with purpose without wasting a day. “I am not afraid to die because I know I would have lived a full life surrounded by family and friends…”
I think that ultimately it is this fearlessness that makes them live longer.
We live in a culture that is addicted to speed. We eat fast, talk fast, work fast as we try to cram more and more in the day. And this is having dire consequences on our lives at home and at work.
Why have we in the mortgage industry caught this disease called ‘speed’? Why are we doing everything faster in the name of good customer service? And why have we peddled the idea that speed of service is the performance criteria by which customers judge us. Has anyone stopped to ask, “Do customers really want fast service? Or do they want good, attentive, thorough service?”
MSA National Founder and managing director Sam Makhoul channels his passion for writing and coaching to help bring out positive energy in people.
We were privileged at MSA to be profiled about our outstanding work in the digital transformation of the financial services industry. Ultimately I view digital as a facilitator of not only a better customer experience but a smarter one for our people at work.